Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I bleed

I am a man. I bleed.  I have my periods regularly. Once in every thirty days or so, I bleed. Only that its not a natural thing. Every month I manage to get myself hit, hurt, cut, bruised or injured someway or the other. I walk into lampposts, crash the bike or atleast do something incredibly stupid like checking the sharpness of the new scissors by cutting my finger and finding out that it is indeed sharp – sharper than I thought. My head alone is a magnificent testimony to the fact that I bleed. The beautiful ‘Y’ above my left eyebrow which I got trying to play football (that is ten stitches), the small and graceful cut on the right forehead which I got from a falling hammer (please don’t ask how – but it got me three stitches) and plenty more. 

However this last month I did not have my bleeding. I got worried. I have missed my periods! Could something have happened? Some failure on my part? Did I forget something? I started to think it over and it got me more worried. I noticed I have been experiencing bad feelings in my body for the past month. Some ulcer-type boils, pains here and there. I really started to get anxious. I was pretty sure it was the bad blood. If only I would bleed. Or at least if I could donate some blood. It was last October that previously donated my blood. If I didn’t bleed soon something really bad was going to happen. I could feel it.

Then yesterday while I was standing outside my room, my friend came to me saying he had lost his room key. I promptly went with him to his room, took a stone, took aim at the lock on his door and brought the stone down in a huge swoosh – and smashed the little finger of my right hand. While the pain was great I ignored it and raised the stone a second time and noticed the stone was dripping blood. Then I realised it was not the stone but my little pinky that was bleeding. And I was so happy at the sight of it. I was bleeding! I am bleeding! Praise the Lord! I am ok. I am having my normal periods. There is nothing wrong with me. I am bleeding. I am perfectly ok. 

This morning I woke up feeling healthy – and a huge swollen little finger, of course. But I am happy. I am safe. At last it has been confirmed – I bleed! 

Saturday, July 13, 2013

The Lap Question!

Me n Ben find each other in the internet late into the night. I’m pretty much still exploring my new laptop while he is chatting with his soon wife-to -be girl. The conversation runs somewhat like this:

Ben: thats the problem when you get a new lap or a new wife…

DS: hahaha

Ben: both never lets you sleep…

DS: wish one could replace the other

Ben: may you get your replacement soon… hopefully…

DS: ha! naah… i'm happy with the present one

Ben: but the question is… what you will take in your lap, when both are around…

DS: hehe… i hope the wife keeps the lap in her lap when she is sitting in my lap

Ben: and then comes the real question… who gets whose attention..

DS: hmm… if she's talking too much i'd like her to concentrate on THE lap rather than MY lap

Ben: either the way you won't be attending to any of it… the one in your lap or the one in the lap of
your lap..

DS: ahh the irony... better buy a lapdog