Sunday, May 9, 2010

Dead Guy Talking

I stared out into the drizzling rain… and I heard the fluttering wings of a butterfly by my ear. Oh… wait! That’s not a butterfly. Its something else… like a huge housefly…. huge and ugly. Ugh!


I was about to die. I knew it.

I sat motionless in the chair with my arms resting awkwardly on both sides and my chin drooping to my right shoulder. I avoided all movements as I knew it would lead to another fit of deadly coughing. The only movement I make is that of my eye balls. I try to act like Stephen Hawking as much as I can. I know I have the brain; I just need the looks.

People think its silly you will die of a common cold. Not me. I have always known I would die of something dreadful like a cold, coughing or sneezing - sneeze, sneeze, SNEEZE! That’s it. I drop dead. How terrible. Yet all these stupid people out there keep telling you to shake off such ‘fancy’ notions. What do they know? Here it’s lonely at the end.

I always get philosophical when I am about to die. Clouds of memories floating before my eyes in the rain and …

Suddenly a steaming hot cup is thrust into my direct view.

“Here… have some chukku kappi (medicinal coffee)”
“I don’t want it”
“It’s good for that sore throat”
“I said I don’t want it…anyway I think it’s too late for these now”
“Oh shut up! All you have is a silly cold”
“It might be just a silly cold to you. But to me it is a…uhh…it is the most important cold of my life!”
“I’m leaving it here. Drink if you want to.”

What does she know about dying? Medicines cannot help once your life energy has started ebbing away. But anyway I drink it because it is not right to hurt our beloved ones just before we pass into another world. Well, and also, because it tastes good.

I sit back and rub some more Vicks on my neck. Feels like someone tried to strangle me yesterday night. The only good smell there is about a cold is that of Vicks – brings back memories. Like the time you wanted to…

At that moment my mobile rings loudly jarring my memories. I cut it off. It rings again. This really is making me angry. Will no one let a man die in peace? I pick it up.

(Grumpily) “Who is this?”
“Hey…it’s Vishnu”
“What do you want?”
“Aren’t you coming to Mahesh’s party?”
“Aww…C’mon. Everyone is waiting”
“I’m not interested”
“All of our friends will be there”
“I don’t care”
“Mahesh had specifically requested you to be there”
“Tell him to go to hell”
“There will be free beer"
“I’LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES!! Don’t start without me!”

What the hell. I guess I’ll have to live to see yet another day. Till then the dead guy’s musings will just have to wait for the next rainy day.